Hopelessly Devoted
by bradensmama
Summary: One-shot! Set after Edward leaves in New Moon. Bella's life is spiraling downward. She doesn't really know what to do much any more.


Hopelessly Devoted;;  
Chapter One - Gone

He left with the worst way possible. I couldn't stand it. It had only been a couple of weeks since he had left, and it was still as if he was killing me. I wanted to be like him. He was my love. He was the reason that I was still alive, and he just left me in this hobunk town of Forks, Washington. How could he leave me like this. I gave everything to him. He is such an asshole.

I looked dreary-eyed around my room. Not actually seeing what I was looking at, I grabbed a sweater up from the floor. I planned on going to school, to learn what I could before I went crazy.

Charlie was already gone. If I wanted to, I could have stayed home. I thought that it would be better if I went to school. That way, I wouldn't be lonely. This house held too many memories for me. Too many bad memories that I couldn't deal with.

I quickly forced myself to eat some food and went out to my truck. It was another rainy day. It was just like any other day, unfortunately. I would still look toward the table where they always sat, hoping, yet again, that it was just another nightmare. Only to be startled by reality when Angela gets my attention.

It was our daily routine now. It was like it happened every single day. At least Angela and Ben still talked to me though. Everyone thought I was a zombie. As a matter of fact, I felt like a zombie.

"Bella, I'm worried about you. We do this everyday, and you still haven't come to realize that he's not coming back."

"Ang, he has to come back. I...I don't think that I can live without him." My voice saddened with each word coming from my lips.

My words startled her. Angela's eyes grew wider than I ever thought they were able to. Her hand clasped over her mouth. Everyone at the other end of the table looked at us. They didn't know what had happened. Not that they really wanted to know, only because it involved me. Zombie Bella was much less popular than Regular Bella.

I couldn't stand it. "I'm going home. I feel ill. Good-bye Ang. Tell everyone bye for me." I blinked once. I stood up, forgetting my bags, and walked to my truck.

I broke down when I got to my truck. Talking about him always did this to me. My sides felt like they were buckling in on me. This happened every night, until I cried myself to sleep. I was bored with the routine. I was sick of it. I couldn't stand to see the same people that saw "Belward". It was time for me to do something to get rid of this pain that I felt.

I pushed my truck as fast as it would go. When I pulled up to the curb at the house, I knew that it would only be a few hours until Charlie would be home. I cooked something really quickly, as a last meal for Charlie from me. I cooked his favorite meal. In between cooking, I decided to put on music.

Grease was on the television. It was my favorite musical. I turned it on at one of the worst parts though. Sandy was singing Hopelessly Devoted.

I ran up to my room and grabbed paper off of my desk and a red pen. I brought it back down to the kitchen, so I could write. It was only the right thing to do.

_Dad,_

_I know that this is going about everything the wrong way, but I don't need you to come looking for me. Go ahead and sell all of my stuff. Someone may want it, and it would get you some more money. Don't miss me too much. Tell Mom that I love her, and Edward if he ever shows up again. I have another letter, placed on my keyboard, that I want you to give him, if he ever comes around. Again, I'm very sorry. Your glock will be found with my body, in my dead hand in the woods. Do not come looking for me. It will be too hard for you to cope with. I love you, dad._

_Bella_

The food was put on a plate and put in his place at the table. I put the note underneath the plate. I wanted to make sure that he had eaten at least a little bit before he found out what had happened to his one and only child.

The next part was the hardest part. I needed to write the letter to the man that broke my heart. The one that took me with him, even if he didn't want to take me with him.

_Edward,_

_I never stopped caring about you, while you were gone. The pain just got to be too much for me. The thought of you never coming back for me, ripped and tore at my sides every night. I love you. I love the family, too. I'm sure that once Alice finds out you will be on your way back, I hope. By then though, it will be too late._

_You're the one I've lived for all along._

I folded the piece of paper up and put it in an envelope. Writing his name on the envelope, was easier than I thought it was. I walked up to my room and placed the envelope exactly where I told my father it would be. The next step was to get my father's unused gun out of his closet, load it with one bullet, and walk into the woods that Sam Uley found me in only a couple of weeks before.

**This was the saddest story that I have ever written. I had somewhere that I was going with this at first, but I started it months ago, and never wrote down my plans. So, I turned it into this very sad one-shot. R&R please, and let me know what you thought.  
♥Liliana**


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